最近の私事情Ⅰ
こんにちは。
すでに書くことが億劫となっている今日この頃です。
文章を書くこと自体は好きなのですが、なかなかまとめられるようなことが無くて書こうにもかけない状態に陥っています。
スランプというわけではなく、ただ単に無気力というか何というか…
まあそれでもこうして細々と書き連ねているわけですが、どうしてもこう…続かないんですよね。
これは私の短所というか人となりを物語っているようです。
『小説家になろう』の方の更新も月一がいいところですし、「こんなんじゃあ誰も見ないだろうなあ」と思っている自分がいる中でそれでも改善しようと動かないのが私個人のようですね。
基本的に楽天的思考なので、「これも個性の一つだ」と自分を納得させていますが、さすがに将来的に見ると大きな壁になりそうなのでできる限りのことはやりたいと思っています。考えるだけ考えて実行に移さないのも問題なのですが
「思い立ったが吉日」という諺もありますし、古人に学ぶことは数えきれないほど存在するので過去と同じ間違いを繰り返さないようにするためにも知識の蓄積は必要不可欠ですよね。
一生勉強とはよく言ったものです。
何事も始まりと終わりがありますが、結局何に向かって進んでいけばいいのでしょうか。
最終的な目標を明確に設定するのは容易ではありませんが、現在達成可能な目標をこまめ立て、それに向かって行くことで人生も豊かになるのかなと思いつつも、それすら面倒で無為な時間を過ごしてしまっている気がします。
最近は哲学的なことを学んでいるのですが、それもなかなか理解が難しく、見方が変われば価値観も総じて変わっていき、結局何が言いたいのかも曖昧で、周りの言う普遍的な価値観ではなく自分なりの価値観を見出していかないといけないのかなと思いましたね。
哲学を突き詰めて行くと結局のところ宗教についての知識や考えが必要になるのでその辺もまた難しい話なりそうですし、もう何が何だかさっぱりです。
まあ日本人は基本的に宗教観には疎く、目に見えるものしか信じないという方が大半なのであまり機会はなさそうですが。
哲学の次は宗教学でも学んでみようかと思います。
科学は誰もが必死になって研究しているのでそちらは任せつつ、比較的少数の宗教についてなら興味を示せばいろいろお話を聞けるかもしれないですし、科学ほど専門の知識も必要にはならなそうですしね。
世間からの視線は痛そうですけど、周りの視線を気にしている暇があるなら興味のあることに注力した方がよっぽど有意義な時間になるというのが私の持論なので、今はとりあえず目の前のことに力を入れて頑張りたいと思います。
それでは今回はこの辺で、私事に付き合っていただきありがとうございました。
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